Marshamallow Fields forever!! BEST WEEKEND EVER!!!

Sheepskin Poser: Claire I'm so happy you came!!

Okay, so before I explain WHY this weekend was absolutely perfect and the most precious gift of GOD I think I should give a little background to set the scene. first off... this is what I look like.  The other photo is just to fake you out / Claire wanted to pretend to be me in my "sheepskin"

Ok. The one in the Middle is Actually Me! : )

Because I am not an English Major I will have to write this ... poorly. But PLEASE continue reading.
 (just fyi i really like caps!)


Okay, so, the first thing to know is that when I was a freshman I opted out of getting ND football tickets for 2 reasons. 1) I wasn't super into football. 1.5) wasn't super into ND 2) wasn't super into any of the people I had met by the time I had to get tickets. Then I went away for Sophmore year and then Junior year... well, I just wasn't interested in football I thought about getting tickets but had been gone for a year and wasn't sure who to sit with and didn't really want to pay the money...and so and so forth! blah blah blah.





The second thing to know is that I LOVE LOVE LOVE Danielle Rose because her music gave me great joy when I was abroad in Spain.

The third thing to know is that for the PAST WEEK I HAVE BEEN very stressed because of my St. Teresa of Ávila presentation for my Medieval Spanish Lit class.



The fourth thing to know is that I walk in the Camino Neocatecumenal .. sometimes quite reluctantly and that I am also very prideful and ... actually not that nice most of the time.

Fifth thing: I LOVE CHRISTMAS. A LOT.
AND: I love GOD and  babies and children and music, and COFFEE and ELF and friends and FAMILY and home and brunch and PRAYER and SAINT MARGARET'S HOUSE the CATHOLIC WORKER and my COMMUNITY and I guess maybe... NOW I LOVE ND football too! ... AND I BURST WITH JOY WHEN THEY ALL GET MIXED UP into ONE WEEKEND!!!! : D


Weekend: FRIDAY!!


On Friday I woke up. Had coffee with Brett Perkins. HE IS GREAT!! he reminds me of buddy the ELF. He is one of my favs. We had a nice chat at STARBUCKS about how four:7 is going and how totus tuus is going as well... and we mostly just talked about other things because, well, we BOTH like to talk. Because we both like to talk... I was 30 minutes late to class. BUT, NBD because I LOVE PEOPLE a lot more than social norms, class, or being on time!! <3
After class I went to Saint Margaret's House and had a GREAT TIME!! I love SMH. If you live in South Bend and Have not been there you should GO!! it is awesome. : )
I had great convos there and helped ... but only a little bit; I wasn't very helpful because I was chatting with people for most of the time.  THEN, I went to my field placement and facilitated two FOCUS groups... then I came back to Campus and we sung the DIVINE MERCY CHAPLET before Mass. Then, we went to mass and I sat with NOT ONLY my four:7 friends but with one of my NEW mDiv friends from SMH!! Then! THEN THEN a bunch of us went to CHIPOTLE!!! : ) I love chipotle. I SAW Laura (my new mdiv friend) at Chiptole. GOOD TIMES. good times.  Then we went to a Danielle Rose concert.

The concert deserves it's own paragraph. Okay, so ... this was probably better than the game. If it is possible to physically explode from Joy. I'm pretty sure I would have at the concert. This was the BEST thing ever! There was Jesus, Children, Coffee (I had just made my 2nd Starbucks trip of the day) Music, and LOVELY PEOPLE. It was awesome. I literally did not know how to get all of the Joy out of my Body!! I think that one of the reasons this concert was so so so so so AWESOME is because I can honestly say that (by the grace of God) I am %100 happy with my life and am not at ALL worried about the future because God has given me this gift of peace about everything!! Because I had no worries during the concert I was free to move past contentment and move over to almost unbearably strong waves of JOY. If were at (or saw) the ND  game and saw (or were part of) the Seniors Storming the field then you probably understood how my heart felt at the Concert. It was like all of the joy that was coming into my heart couldn't get out through such a small gate as my human body... It was happy. PRAISE GOD! : ) Okay, so that was one of the AWESOME PARTS of the weekend.

Moving on. The rest of Friday was awesome too! I went to a black light party... and played TO MOREDOR. I like it. I drew on walls with laundry detergent... then left and went to the LAST DRUMMER CIRCLE and saw one of my favorite people ever: Claire Fraizer!!! She was in town for the game! Then ... well, I stayed up and did a bunch of visitng with different peeps the rest of the night. ALSO, Eddy's Street is decorated for CHRISTMAS!!! yay : )

Saturday:
Woke up. Had lots o' Coffee!! Picked up ALLIE ZAHM and Laurel Javors and headed over to the Catholic Worker. Good times. I really didn't help that much but it was awesome chilling with JC ( a real man at the worker) for a while. Then, laurel and I peaced out and I went to MASS at the basilica and then I prayed morning prayer with super awesome people and then I walked around campus with a nice grad student for about an hour. THEN, wait for it... I went to STARBUCKS (if you know me you will find this to be a frequent activity ... that brings me much joy!) with Claire and her Super cool BF: TINK. yup. that is what he is called. We caught up and had good times... walked around went to the bookstore and stuff and then... went back to starbucks. okay. Now that I am actually writing down how many times I've been to starbucks I'm getting a little embarrassed. anyway. yes. I went to starbucks twice two days in a row. : /

Anyway. THEN I went to the game.








...which, has fully inaugurated me into being a legit fan! I LOVED THAT GAME SO MUCH!! we won... by a LOT (28-3) and I kinda ended up sitting way close up with friends instead of the usual surrounding of strange drunk (strangers).  WE had the Senior Marshmallow fight with wet sticky marshmallows. so fun. so fun. THEN, then, then, we stormed the field!!! Which, was scary and fun at the same time. I was literally being pushed into a railing at one point and was trying to NOT hurt people but I ended up just ducking my head down and praying that I didn't get trampled. I lived. : ) When I finally made it through the very small gate and got onto the field I WAS SO EXCITED!!!  IT WAS SO COOL!!!







After many fun escapades on the field we finally left. Got pizza at lafun and then I went back to my apartment, thinking that I would study for a while. NOPE. I hung out with friends and then napped. good life choice. Then SUPER AWESOME Claire and Tink dropped me at my car. I left it at Notre Dame because I drove to mass. Then, I picked up Mary Z and Brian H and we went to John's House... I slept on their couch. I was still very tired. They were watching and Giving an Awesome commentary to Troy. It was a nice bedtime story : ) when the movie ended I went back to OPUS (my apartment) and couldn't sleep after my series of naps so... I hung out with Monica, Claire, Tink, Troy, Lizzey and other people until ike 2:30 am! We jammed on the guitar, ate good food, and talked. I liked it!!


Sunday:
6:40am: I woke up. PRAISE GOD. because I had slept through my alarm. I had to go to mass at 7am to be able to make it to St. Joe for a convenience with my community (of the Way). I took a 5min shower, brushed teeth and RAN OUT THE DOOR. I made it to mass. : ) and it was lovely. OBVI!
Then... can you guess what I did next. I will give you a moment. It might be difficult to figure out.

Yes. Yes. I went to Starbucks.
PARENTAL DISCLAIMER :
Dear Parents, I know that It seems like I've blown a lot of your money this weekend. But... I would like to let you know that I was treated to Starbucks half of the times that I went this weekend... and that I only payed $1.50 for plain coffee either way because, as you know, I just like regular coffee, I did spend $5 at chipotle... but it WAS THE LAST football WEEKEND! I love you and appreciate you very much and ... I only spent like $10 on all of my extra curricular/ social activity this weekend. Just saying... that's pretty darn good. Minus, Gas of course. : /
Thanks for being awesome. Really. The (: / ) is the end of the disclaimer portion. I really and Truly LOVE LOVE LOVE you guys you are GREAT PARENTS AND  I APPRECIATE IT!! <3

So after starbucks I went to St. Joe! : ) We had a wonderful WONDERFUL convenience. However, that is between my community and myself! <3 It was awesome though!! Like really really good! Then... like a SUPER WOMAN I made it back to Notre Dame in time (ish) for Totus Tuus Practice!! 
a few club meetings.. cleaned my room... watched AMORES PERROS (great movie) and putzed around and here I am. HAPPY SUNDAY!!!

I LOVE LIFE!!!!! <3
PRAISE GOD ALLELUIA!!!!
Have a GREAT SUNDAY AND WEEK EVERYONE!! : )

The Irish Guard was catching Marshmallows in their hats!!

Ooey Gooey MarshmallowEY!

Goodbye!

Please note: Losing is crossed out and Winning is written beneath

: )

~ Evening Thoughts ~

My mom and I will always remind each other to "keep your eyes on the horizon"
Another way to say this is to simply move toward the light...
This made me think that If I was a child (which I often am) talking to God the Father
I would express the journey home to Him in this way:



Daddy, do you know what I expect?


Let me start with what I don't know...

I don't know what I expect from life
But I know what I expect from myself:
Honesty, Courage, Faith,  Growth...
I don't know where I will go
But I know that I will walk
And even if I stumble
I will move
toward the
light


I don't know what I expect from life
But I know what I expect from myself
patience, LOVE, hope...
I don't know where I will go
but I know where I have been
mistakes will happen
mistakes will shape me
humility will overtake me
and I will move
toward the
light

I don't know what I expect from life
But I know what I expect from myself
I expect to keep walking
I expect to TRUST, to SEEK, to MOVE
I expect to do something GOOD
I don't expect to be remembered
but I expect to remember
to simply move
toward the
light

Daddy I think that I am at a crossroads...
or maybe I'm not at a crossroads at all...?
There is so much darkness these days.
Have you notice how dark it is?
it's hard for me to tell
which way to light and which way to wrong
But I will walk until my feet don't move
and I will sing till I've dried up all the tunes
in the world
and with open eyes of a blind girl
I will fumble in the darkness
I will listen and speak and use all of my senses
AND I will MOVE toward the LIGHT


And Daddy
I am sorry but sometimes I am sure that I will be going backwards
And sometimes I am sure that I will have to stop moving for fear
And sometimes I am sure that in circles I will walk on the wrong path
and maybe even tell others to follow me into the pitch black
of mistakes
But Daddy, caution I will take
And my life a prayer will be
and though all I have to bring is
ME: empty as can be
I will move toward the light

Daddy, do you know what I expect?

I don't know what I expect from life
but I expect to die
to myself
and put fear
on the shelf with my old comforts in my dark room
and I expect that SOON
I will see the light

That is what I expect.
Goodnight!

Goodmorning Thoughts

I love the morning so much!! I was listening to this song and reading Santa Teresa de Ávila. Good stuff. : )








Right now I am sitting here with a cup of coffee, good music, facing the sunrise, drawing and reading a little... this is how life should be.

However, in my stupidity and desire to control the world (which is impossible) I like to PLAN PLAN PLAN how things will go. I am learning to let this go...BUT it is harder than it seems and I've realized of late that I feel a certain elation in being able to cling my own ignorance. I pretend that it is okay but in reality I know there is a better way. AND SO this battle has been waged within my soul and someone will have to die... and like that scene form Princess Bride I'm sure that I can not reason my way out of this and if I did it wouldn't matter anyway because this battle is between myself and I... so either way I must die. TO SELF, it's hard because I know me well and have learned to love myself despite (and for) failings and I guess that is why I'm wailing because although everything can be going so perfectly around me... inside my soul is an angry sea that cannot be calmed by all of the things I enjoy because the battle is between myself and I and one of us will surely die and I'm waiting to see which me I will be in ten years from now... and how stupid anyhow because It doesn't really matter today. It doesn't really matter today. Because, as Teresa reminds me God is the Gardener and when he chooses to water me it will surpass any growth I've been trying to self-cultivate... BUT I AM SO IMPATIENT. I just want to know which way my life will go... and I want to be in control. Obedience and patience were never my favorite things but trust comes from LOVE and LOVE is what I live for so I guess I'll have to let this silent battle go and sip my coffee and just know that TODAY... today I can listen to music and draw and read, sip coffee and breath and NOT WORRY because I WILL BE HAPPY!!!

I will be happy.
I will be happy.
And one day... I will come to a crossroads and on one side I will see a path that will carry me through; a path were I can walk happiest and holiest and THAT is all I have to do. I will wait today. and simply pray.

I WILL BE HAPPY.

Prayer To Accept God's Will
Give me, Lord, the strength and courage to accept Your will at this time of my life, and throughout my life.  You know both what I want and what is best for me.  Help me to recognize Your blessing and presence in all my needs so that my thoughts, words, and actions might reflect my trust in Your wisdom.  Amen.